Wow. What some decent nutrition will do for the mind, body and soul. I'm on my fifth day of resetting my metabolism and I feel great, well great by my standards. I've been taking in between 1100 and 1300 calories a day. Of course I work out, so net calories is 800 or 900 I suppose, but I don't do the net calorie song and dance. Intake is intake. I don't ever count on burning calories as a way to gauge it. Know what I mean?
The benefits of increased nutrition: I have zero anxiety; I'm exploding with energy; I can concentrate; I have no headaches; no muscle fatigue; I can sleep; and I shit. I'm sure there are more, but the list is kind of boring. Oh! Way important! I'm not so flipping depressed. The down side is that I feel a bit like a stuffed pig, like I'm never empty, never hungry.
I don't know how long I'll keep this up. Considering the fact that I really want to shed only two more pounds (I say that now...leave my denial alone!) I think I should keep this up for a few more days. I'm terrified of gaining though. I wonder if I should just maintain my weight at 92 pounds for another month. It's not like it's going to change how I look that dramatically. I just think it will.
When I focus on it, I start to get anxious. What I need to do is work on trying to be a bit comfortable in my skin. Like, I don't want anyone telling me I look bad. If my chest bones, sternum and ribs, stick out much more I'm afraid people will notice. Well, honestly, I'm afraid one person will notice and that's not acceptable. All he needs to know is that I'm athletic. Getting a wee bit thinner should be alright.
That's it! Since I got the go ahead to start running again, it'll make sense that my body fat decreases ever so slightly, especially during the Summer. Everything fits.
I'm still broke as fuck. My savings is dwindling to nil and the children's father is still a slacker on child support payments, but what am I going to do? Obviously I'll look for work, but who knows what I'll end up with. I can't do anything career related and frankly, I don't want to. I suppose it's just a great big wait and see.
In the meantime, I'll enjoy feeling better, stronger. And with the weather being what it is, I'm backing away from internet ED involvement. I won't be posting as much, but I will every couple days or so. It's nice to have an outlet for random ED stuff.
Cheers to nutrition.
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