Image by Garry - www.visionandimagination.com via FlickrI really want to shrivel up and vanish today. Yesterday was a successful failure. I managed to eat 450 calories though my goal was to eat more than that. Today, I awoke before the dawn because I didn't exactly sleep. I was determined to eat and groggy enough to do it.
I ate a pear, some crunchy peanut butter and mini pretzels. Ever since I did that, I've felt like total crap. Over and over I panic thinking that there were so many more calories in what I ate. I wish I could turn my guts inside out and hose everything down. The sense of doom I feel may be something like a person would feel knowing that they'd been poisoned.
How I long for sleep, for an escape, a break. Insanity is exhausting.
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