going rogue

Holy shit. I am off the charts with my anger. My world feels like it's crumbling. I hate to sound dramatic. Seriously, I do. This prison I'm in is falling apart though.

I thought I had a grip on my little family unit, but I'm so wrong. I called my daughter satan today; told both children they were like devils screwing up my world on a daily basis. When my daughter asked me why I had children, I replied that I had made a mistake.

Here's the sad part. I mean every bit of it. I'm so fucking sick of their nasty ass messes, their inability to follow through with responsibilities, their manipulation, their arguments, their physical fights, their neediness, their laziness. And I refuse to lower myself to "nag" status. I don't nag. Either they do what they need to do or they don't. The expectations are clear and reasonable, as are the consequences, but I lost it today.

What the fuck nightmare did I choose for myself? I told them to make a choice today. Either go rogue or be part of the family. I need to know where I stand; friend or foe. If they're going to keep working against me I need to know it. They need to know it. They chose family. In a way, there was no choice. They have to survive this. I feel so bad for them; so, so bad.