Image by yewenyi via FlickrHow is it that I'm so close to the edge again? First, let me define that. For me, the edge is the point when my eating disorder and accompanying mental crutches are no longer working for me.The edge is when the facade comes down and I have to see myself for what I am. At that point, I become very shaky, very unstable. In order to avoid reality, I crank up the sick behaviors a little bit more. So, I'm fasting. I'm fasting in order to forget everything I am and all that I'll never be.
I'm fasting because I ate in the middle of the night while zonked on benzos. Some things never change.
I'm in much the same point. Realizing I've crossed a line in my eating disorder, and that things are scarily bad, but equally having reached a point where I'm unable or unwilling to worry about it.
ReplyDeleteIts not working for me. I'm on a roller coaster to nowhere. Speedyquickfast.
Hmm.
Oh - but thank you for your comment. "Perhaps if they actually took the symptoms seriously, the death rate would drop." GOD, YES.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Sadly, the state of the medical community today...
It's a shame they (medical community) don't come out and say, "We're clueless!" Unless you present with symptoms that fit within their confined and/or prejudiced beliefs, your disorder will go unrecognized. Please take care of yourself the best you can. :)
ReplyDeletexo