Dangerous dieting is as old as Hollywood.
And it can be deadly.
Singer Karen Carpenter died at 32 of complications from anorexia nervosa, specifically "cardiotoxicity" brought on by the chemical emetine, found in the now banned over-the-counter drug, ipecac.
Glamazon Anna Nicole-Smith, who had gone through years of yo-yo dieting, was on a host of prescription medications, including two that could be used for weight loss, when she died of an accidental overdose at the age of 39.
Screen legend Judy Garland was hounded by film executives who told her she was too fat. The actress turned to pounding pound-shedding amphetamines over the course of her lifetime. She died at age 47 of a barbiturate overdose.
Now experts say destructive dieting only getting worse.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Addicted in Hollywood: Scary Lengths Stars Go to Stay Scary Skinny - FoxNews.com
Addicted in Hollywood: Scary Lengths Stars Go to Stay Scary Skinny - FoxNews.com
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
fucking tabloids and the thin Circus Ridiculous
Who can remember the 1970s? D, if you're out there and you happen to read this, I know you do. ;) "Everyone" was thin when I was growing up. Thin was the cultural norm. Seeing bones was the cultural norm. Not because people were unhealthy, but because that's how the body looks.
No one ever commented that Debbie Harry was too thin.
Or that Annie Lennox had gone mad with anorexia nervosa.
Or that Cheryl Tiegs should get help with her weight issue.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT AN ISSUE TO BE THIN. IT'S NOT AN ISSUE IF YOUR BONES ARE VISIBLE. THEY FREAKING SHOULD BE IF YOU'RE HEALTHY.
Nearly every magazine in the grocery store check out isle has headlines about so and so's weight. Bloody hell. I'm too tired to rant.
No one ever commented that Debbie Harry was too thin.
Or that Annie Lennox had gone mad with anorexia nervosa.
Or that Cheryl Tiegs should get help with her weight issue.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT AN ISSUE TO BE THIN. IT'S NOT AN ISSUE IF YOUR BONES ARE VISIBLE. THEY FREAKING SHOULD BE IF YOU'RE HEALTHY.
Nearly every magazine in the grocery store check out isle has headlines about so and so's weight. Bloody hell. I'm too tired to rant.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
anorexia won't fix your problems
The title of today's post sums something up. I don't know what. This is what some bitch said to me as she passed me on the sidewalk today. In a clear voice she said, "Anorexia won't fix your problems." I wanted to say, 'It would fix some of yours, fatass!' But I said nothing.
Firstly, she doesn't know me. Secondly, I'm not even thin right now. Maybe. Maybe! If I were six pounds lighter, then it could be a legitimate accusation. At 90 pounds, I start to look thin. Even if I were thin, what makes her think it's acceptable to say that to someone. It's the equivalent of me walking up to a random person and saying, "Binge eating won't fix your problems." Or, "Consumerism won't solve your problems."
I was annoyed, especially because I was walking with my son. Fortunately, he was monologuing about a game we both play and didn't notice Passing Rude Girl. But still! I'll do what ever the fuck I want to with my body. If I want to starve or binge or slam heroin in my veins, it's my choice. Grrr.
Firstly, she doesn't know me. Secondly, I'm not even thin right now. Maybe. Maybe! If I were six pounds lighter, then it could be a legitimate accusation. At 90 pounds, I start to look thin. Even if I were thin, what makes her think it's acceptable to say that to someone. It's the equivalent of me walking up to a random person and saying, "Binge eating won't fix your problems." Or, "Consumerism won't solve your problems."
I was annoyed, especially because I was walking with my son. Fortunately, he was monologuing about a game we both play and didn't notice Passing Rude Girl. But still! I'll do what ever the fuck I want to with my body. If I want to starve or binge or slam heroin in my veins, it's my choice. Grrr.
Monday, July 11, 2011
so lost right now
What is this appetite? This hunger? And why does it never leave me any more? Is this the accumulation of a lifetime spent in the realm of eating disorders? Have the long term deficiencies caught up with me?
I don't understand how to do this and win. Clearly, I'm not "beating" this. I'm neither at peace, nor am I particularly agitated. In a way, I'm just resigned to my fate. I don't even care if I get fat. Okay. That's a lie. I care, but not enough to stop myself from binging and purging.
It's become a complete struggle to keep anything down. When I do decide to give digesting a "meal" a go, I spend hours in a state of heightened anxiety. I feel the food seeping into body, my cells growing plump. I don't think I have ever felt this large before. I'm not kidding. The scale puts me at 96 pounds but I might as well be twice that.
Putting clothes on, bathing, using lotion; these acts are terrifying for me because I have to deal with my body. I can't bear it. My waist measures 23.75 inches. My thighs are up to 18.75 inches. Everything is getting bigger.
Increasing protein was a huge mistake! I tried to increase fat and take a flax supplement thinking it would take care of my fat soluble vitamin deficiencies, but no. I'm not absorbing the nutrients, not absorbing / metabolizing fats properly and it's fucking me up. It's fucking everything up.
I can't find work. My mortgage is one month behind. My son is fucked up. My daughter needs me. A married man has the hots for me. My friend is dying. I haven't been laid for almost two years. I told two people about my brother molesting me. My electricity is in danger of being shut off. I have a bench warrant for not paying a parking ticket. Et cetera.
If I can't control my fucking food issue, then what business do I have trying to control anything?
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